living with Cybertronians
by shadow alchemist4532
Summary: the Autobots and Decepticons find themselves living with our four protagonists. Craziness ensues chemistry accidents time travel incidents yelling Game and movie nights teaching them how to play hide and seek a random sledge hammer and an anti gravity button what more craziness do you need.
1. introductions and madness

**Craziness with the Transformers**

It was a normal day in Jack Holmes's bigger on the inside hut when several giant robots appeared "Decepticons attack the Autobots" Megatron ordered but their weapons did not work "the question is where are we?" Ironhide said "that is a very good question" Optimus said when the front door slammed shut "Jack calm down I know your angry but just calm down I didn't mean what I said" Mikaela Gempton said "did you or are you just saying that sis" Jack Holmes said darkly "what the fuck?" Mikaela said spotting the Transformers when Curtis Scanlon fell on top of her Jack took a picture "this is so going on Google+ as part of my revenge" he said as the house became a military base/house "Change layout again" Jack growled "who are you human scum" Megatron asked then all Decepticons were shocked "OI no insults or aggressive behaviour or you got shocked" Jack said as a girl with Brownish red hair fell on top off him "Alicia" Jack breathed shocked then he noticed her bloodied condition he began CPR muttering "COME ON!" He yelled.

Ratchet ran forward "move" he ordered and gave her a decent shock to restart her heart "GAAAAHHH!" She screamed "who did you upset this time?" Curtis asked "what makes you think I upset someone" She replied "your bloodied form" Jack said "alright I upset a knight" she mumbled "what was that I'm not deaf" Jack said "a knight alright" she said "Introductions" Curtis said before Jack could go on a rant and threaten to snap the knight's neck "I am Jack Holmes and well I've been in fights" Jack said "You what" Alicia said shocked "I've been in fights since we last saw each other ok" Jack replied "I'm Alicia Simpson and I don't know what to do with him sometimes" Alicia said sighing "the names Curtis" Curtis said "I am Mikaela Gempton" Mikaela said "My name is Optimus Prime this is my evil brother Megatron" Optimus said "I am Ironhide the one playing music is Bumblebee" Ironhide said "I am Ratchet" Ratchet said "I am Jazz" Jazz said before the Autobots patted him on the back at his return to life "I am Sideswipe call me sides" Sideswipe said "the names Hound" Hound said "I am Starscream" Starscream said "I am Officer Barricade" Barricade said "oh not again" Megatron said "what?" Alicia asked "he has been stuck thinking he is a police officer for a while keeps trying to arrest Lord Megatron I'm Soundwave by the way" Soundwave said "I am shockwave" Shockwave said "I am Scorponark" Scorponark said "the names wheelie and this is my pal Brains" Wheelie said "right everybody we are on a quest to find where everything is AWAY WE GO!" Jack yelled and everybody followed him.

"FOUND ANYTHING PRIME!" Megatron yelled "I FOUND THE DECEPTICON CHARGING CHAMBERS!" Optimus yelled back from down the corridor "I FOUND YOUR BEDROOM JACK!" Alicia yelled from up a ladder "DON'T TOUCH MY SWORDS STARSCREAM!" Jack yelled as Starscream found his dojo "AUTOBOT CHARGING CHAMBERS LOCATED!" Soundwave yelled "MIKAELA I FOUND YOUR ROOM!" Curtis yelled "I FOUND AN OLD MAN!" Mikaela yelled "WAIT WHAT!" Jack yelled "hey put me down whippersnapper" the Old man said kicking Mikaela in the shin Bumblebee grabbed him and threw him back to his house "thanks bee" she said anyway back to the search "I FOUND THE KITCHEN!" Brains yelled "I FOUND THE SHOOTING RANGE!" Ironhide yelled you know the drill yelling when they found something once everything was found they headed to the main room to discuss rules "rule one Starscream or anyone no touching my swords without permission or swearing not to kill people yeah I'm looking at you Screamer" Jack said "you little bastard" Starscream growled getting shocked.

"Rule two no being perverts" Alicia said glaring at wheelie and Brains "rule three no destroying each other or anything or I will be pissed you can destroy each other in video games and that is it in fact video game night tonight attendance mandatory" Jack said entering the kitchen and coming out with a can of Ginger Beer only to witness something weird Autobots and Decepticons getting along "I walk out of the room and no one has killed each other" Jack said incredulous as they all began to float "WHO THE HELL PRESSED THE ANTI GRAVITY BUTTON!" Jack yelled "MY BAD!" Brains said "When does it say it will turn off" Alicia asked "two months" Brains answered "who installs an anti-gravity button on a timer?" Mikaela asked "I do" Jack shot back "well it was a stupid idea" Alicia said taking her new friends side.

"Look blame brains alright" Jack said Optimus and Megatron said nothing continuing their staring contest while floating in the air "what do we do?" Curtis asked "live like astronauts for two months simple as that" Jack said floating off into the dojo to hope his swords were not flying everywhere Starscream tried to grab one Jack floated over and punched him and began beating the crap out of him Megatron noticed "what's going on?" he asked "Starscream tried to grab one of Jack's swords and is now getting his ass kicked" Hound said "what does that mean?" he asked "it means when you get your posterior handed to you by another person Lord Megatron" Soundwave said as he and Ratchet were fixing Barricade "stay away from my swords you great big Dorito" Jack said the humans burst out laughing and soon the Autobots followed and once they explained the Decepticons followed "Stop Laughing" Starscream growled before giving them all the bird and headed for the jet practice range Jack floated into his lab thankful that he fastened down the chemicals he did not want another time travel incident where he became an invisible ghost around his 3 year old self because of accidentally mixed carbon and magnesium instead of carbon and beryllium long story he checked on his recently completed experiment a remote with buttons when pointed at a female and one of the buttons pressed they become Mind controlled Cat or dog girls why he had invented it was because of when he need revenge.

It was soon dinnertime Jack had left and got take-away in other words Sushi Red Rooster and KFC with Soundwave who behaved and when eating the Transformers surprised the humans by actually eating food with them from the floating air once the food was done Jack floated into the game room setting everything up "hmm Dark of the moon or fall of Cybertron multiplayer meh both" Jack said as the anti-gravity ran out Mikaela and Alicia destroying it "DAMN IT!" Curtis yelled "WHAT!" Mikaela asked/yelled "I WANTED TO BE AN ASTRONAUT FOR TWO MONTHS SIMPLE!" Curtis yelled "DON'T STEAL MY LINES SCANLON!" Jack yelled the Autobots and Decepticons were in one big pile on the floor Decepticons on bottom getting crushed by Hounds fat ass "WATCH OUT YOU TWO YOU HAVE AN ANGRY HUMAN AND SEVERAL ANGRY TRANSFORMERS AFTER YOU!" Jack warned Optimus and Megatron joined Jack in the kitchen seeing no point in the hunt while the rest hunted the girls down not allowed to bash them up just prank them Jack sipped his tea he looked out the window and let out the worst curse known to man "LANGUAGE!" Alicia yelled from her vantage point on the catwalk because outside was a bunch of fangirls Optimus and Megatron followed his gaze and let out the worst Cybertronian Curse word the Autobot and Decepticon fangirls were out there alongside Jack's fangirls "oh hell no" Alicia said and shot at them with her stolen gun the fangirls fled screaming about a haunted house "THANKS NOW GET EVERYONE TO THE CINEMA ROOM!" Jack yelled he had set up his Xbox in there.

Once arriving the Transformers used their holoforms as Jack set up the game the main menu came as the Transformers looked shocked "how the hell" Megatron said through his holoform "you have a lot of movies and TV shows about you" Jack explained "that explains the fangirls" Optimus said Jack went to multiplayer and turned to a whiteboard Optimus and Megatron vs Starscream and Ironhide was the first match if they won they went up the ladder if they lost they would go to the loser tournament and after that they were eliminated it also had who they were playing as in both games. the four sat down and chose their characters Optimus chose to be himself as did Starscream Megatron decided to be Jetfire and Ironhide chose to be Megatron the map was going to be the Ark Optimus and Megatron communicated silent orders to each other forgetting it was a video game soon Megatron cornered Starscream and after a gunfight in the game Megatron utterly destroyed Starscream's character "Damn it" Starscream muttered and they all watched Optimus fight Ironhide in one on one eventually Optimus destroyed Ironhide's character "good game prime" Ironhide said "Good Game Ironhide" Optimus replied Megatron now knew why his Decepticons occasionally hated him maybe he should be to his men like Optimus is to his men "good game Starscream" he said "good game lord Megatron" Starscream said obviously shocked.

The next round was Jack and Ratchet vs Alicia and Soundwave both had formed a bond with the humans Jack had chosen to put in Dark of the moon and chose to be Ironhide and Ratchet was himself Alicia chose to be Mirage and Soundwave was himself the map was Detroit Jack and Ratchet split up and soon Alicia and Jack were shooting at each other in the game Mirage fell Alicia was out they shook hands and watched as Ratchet beat Soundwave. Several games later it was the finals it was the team of Optimus/Megatron, Alicia/Soundwave, Jack/Ratchet, Mikaela/Barricade, Curtis/Bumblebee and Ironhide/Starscream and the Loser finals were Shockwave/Hound and Scorponark/Jazz Wheelie and Brains were out Optimus and Megatron went up against Alicia and Soundwave they were playing Fall of Cybertron Soundwave was himself Alicia was Skyquake they fought until a draw and Alicia and Soundwave admitted defeat seeing they had lower health Bumblebee and Curtis beat Ironhide and Starscream and Jack and Ratchet beat Mikaela and Barricade so now it was down to Optimus and Megatron against Jack and Ratchet in Dark of the moon's one on one wrestling mode Jack was Ironhide fighting Megatron who was himself both were silent except the controllers clicking as they dodged and punched each other soon Megatron was defeated who graciously admitted it obviously Decepticons were scared at their leaders behaviour but at Soundwaves urging they forgot their fear now it was Optimus vs Ratchet their game was a long one and soon Optimus admitted defeat they went to bed that night utterly tired.


	2. hide and seek madness

**Ironhide: oh wow an update.**

**Me: shut up Ironhide**

**Ironhide: make me**

**Pulls out Lightsabre**

**Optimus not stopping his staring contest with Megatron: I'd shut up if I were you Ironhide**

**Me: Look at my profile for disclaimer but if your lazy and don't read it and want to get on with the story I don't own squat except the setting and my characters**

**Megatron: wow an Authors note without you swearing.**

**Me: Alicia has a sledge hammer and will hit me with it if I swear or get in a fight.**

**Alicia: Damn straight I will.**

**Optimus: Enjoy.**

**Megatron: you blinked brother.**

**Optimus: (lets out a Cybertronian curse)**

**Elita-1: Language Optimus.**

**Optimus: sorry dear.**

The next morning Jack got an idea and said it at breakfast "hide and what?" Megatron asked "hide and seek it is good stealth training everyone hides around the base and one of us has to find you all once everyone is found the first one found has to find the rest when found you tag them with Nerf Bullets" Jack said replacing the Cybertronian's weapons with nerf guns and soon it was time to hide Jack went first closing his eyes and counting to 100 in Italian the rest all hid somewhere across the house to Starscreams disappointment the dojo was locked so he hid in the flying room Optimus hid in the kitchen Megatron in the garage Sideswipe and barricade in the Decepticon charging chambers and the rest in the Autobot chambers and shooting range and Mikaela and Curtis in Mikaela's room and Alicia in the Library and Wheelie and Brains in Alicia's wardrobe.

Jack started in the flying room and looked at the jets spotting Starscream he pretended to walk out but turned and shot Starscream "damn" Starscream muttered "now help me find the rest onwards" Jack said and the two ventured through the house hearing movement from Alicia's wardrobe "Starscream hand me the bat" he said and once it was in hand he entered the room and opened the wardrobe Wheelie and Brains were looking at photos of a hypnotized Alicia doing a strip tease with the caption taken by Joel Osborn with a mental reminder to take Soundwave and give Joel a heart attack he whacked Wheelie and Brains with it and threw them a nearby cage he put the photos in a box marked to be burnt and walked out Wheelie and Brains cursing but Ravage found them and began batting at the cage "Ravage desist" Soundwave ordered from the shadows and was shot by Starscream "join the search Soundwave" he said.

Jack opened the door to Mikaela's room and immediately turned around brotherly protective feelings surged through him because what he saw was Mikaela making out he shot them and they broke apart "hurt her Scanlon and my sword will be the last thing you ever see I meant it" Jack growled "I won't" Curtis vowed "good" Jack said and the three split up Jack entered the garage and saw Megatron in truck form he shot it and heard Megatron laugh he turned and shot Megatron who cursed and was whacked by Thunderblast who mysteriously appeared alongside Elita-1 "you have 100 seconds to hide" Jack said heading to the kitchen and shooting Optimus there was a thud when they exited the kitchen Optimus had fainted after seeing Elita Jack was about to get a bucket of cold water but Megatron stopped him "Brother Elita is stripping for you" he said Optimus shot up to laughter he glared at Megatron and hit him "you two stop it" Elita and Thunderblast ordered and they both stopped "yes dear" they said meekly.

Once everyone was found it was lunch time Jack and Soundwave were going to get their revenge after that with the help of the eager Rumble Laserbeak and Ravage for lunch Jack made a healthy lunch tacos without the meat once they were down Alicia did the dishes Jack was about to leave when someone opened the door "Uncle Will" Alicia squealed and hugged none other than William Lennox "hey little fire dragon" he said affectionately "Colonel" the Autobots and Decepticons greeted respectfully "Soundwave let's go" Jack said "for what" Will asked Jack showed him the pictures "your right lets go Epps is at Billanook Collage waiting for me to tell him where we are" Will said "let me guess Sam is with him" Jack said "yep along with Carly" Will replied the two left with Will driving they arrived at Billanook picked them up dropped them off except Epps who wanted in on their plan and drove to Joel's favourite hangout.

Epps followed Joel on his Binoculars "what's the plan?" he asked "I am going to distract him while Laserbeak craps on him Rumble will use smoke guns to create a smoke cover Ravage will scare them by acting like a cat on Rabies Soundwave will play haunting music and you two will pretend to be ghosts summoned by me" Jack explained they both nodded eager for vengeance "Let's do this" Will said. Jack walked up to Osborn and his friends "Joel it has been a while" Jack said "Holmes my you have grown and have a new voice well I don't mean to brag but Alicia is my girlfriend" Joel said and from the trees bird poo fell on Joel's head from Laserbeak "really does it give you the right to mess with her mind" Jack said as fog rolled in from Rumble "you saw the pictures" Joel said as Ravage jumped out Oily foam dripping from his mouth "like my metal cat he has rabies so I'd run if I were you" Jack said Joel's friends ran as the JAWS theme song played Joel froze as he saw two ghosts rose from the fog "break up with Alicia and delete the photos and I'll call my friends off if you don't there will be a Joel shaped stain on the ground as Soundwave made sure the fog covered them transformed "do it" he said menacingly.

Back at the House Alicia got a text saying their relationship was over instead of being sad she was happy "now I can ask Jack out" she said to the newly appeared Arcee and Chromia after showing them around Ironhide fainted Optimus said what Megatron said to him instead using Chromia than Elita many gained a laugh and Ironhide looked close to bashing Optimus up "who is Jack?" Arcee asked "our host" Thunderblast said. After getting a lot of pictures and finding out Soundwave recorded it all they returned to the house "Where did you all go?" Sam asked re-entering the room after chatting with Bumblebee Soundwave showed him the video and soon he nearly wet himself laughing "you got vengeance" Sam said having seen the pictures in the to be burnt box Soundwave emailed it to everyone in the house under his username Sexy Soundwave with a picture of his holoform which was a Sexy Guitarist.

An hour later it was dinner time Jack was warming up the barbeque while Curtis Will Rob and Sam were trying to get a bonfire started without the transformers help and were failing miserably Alicia Carly and Mikaela were too busy laughing their heads off to help and Optimus and Megatron were in another staring contest with the femmes making bets on who would win and the mechs were drinking high grade "OH COME ON!" They yelled then Jack's pseudo uncle Seymour Simmons appeared with a flame thrower "burn Sucker burn" he said and the bonfire was lit the other 4 men yelled "OH COME ON WE TRIED THE FLAME THROWER AND IT DID NOT WORK WHY DID IT WORK FOR HIM!" They yelled "oh sure destroy my hearing" Seymour and Jack said at the same time hi fiving after burning everything in the to be burnt box they had burgers and the mechs were drunk so Jack Seymour Optimus and Megatron locked them in separate rooms to recharge the four kids went to bed Last day of term being tomorrow.

**Me: alright now I've brought in enough characters for now rate it out of 10 1 to 3 being needs improvement 4 to 6 being good and 7 to ten being awesome.**

**Ironhide: 7**

**Ratchet: 8**

**Optimus: 9**

**Sideswipe: 10**

**Me: you're only saying that because the prank war is in a chapter or two.**

**10: you update this story but not watching Doctor who I'm hurt.**

**Me: how the hell did you get in here 10?**

**10: Megatron let me in.**

**Megatron: sorry.**

**Me: I'll probably update that over the holidays School ends on Friday. **

**10: oh alright then (leaves)**

**Optimus: remember to review we won't force you because it is your right to refuse.**

**Me: and not like the review last chapter got it creeped me out a bit on how that guy made that review on the same day I published the story IF ANYONE IS SPYING ON ME I'LL-(falls unconscious)**

**Alicia the sledgehammer: oops sorry Jack.**

**Soundwave: he was going to finish with kidnapping the spies and forcing them to watch Barney.**

**Whole group: (shudders)**

**Ratchet: hope nobody spies on him then.**


End file.
